Okay, so this one is a big one. Most people want to get married for reasons that range from love to companionship, to the need to procreate. Some people even want to get married for selfish and mundane reasons. Don’t ask me what these are, I’m sure you know some of such people. You probably are one of them or you have them as friends.
Marriage is an elite thing, whether you’d like to admit it or not, the fact that there are more and more broken marriages right now, notwithstanding. When care and thought are put into making the decision to even get married to someone, the result is most likely going to be bliss. But are you reeeaally ready to get married? Between me and you right now, tell yourself the truth.
- You that you cannot dance, how will you do it? Do you know how long the reception takes? the traditional marriage bit? the partying? where will you go? where will you hide? or should I mind my business? Hmm!
- What about your in-laws and all the new family members? Are you ready for them? With all your short temper, won’t you go and learn people management like this? Okay, your own issues are not temper-related, I’ve heard you. But you like your space? Two two minutes, your social juice has dried up. How will you do it? Shebi you are ready to laugh and cook and listen and talk, whether you are in the mood or not? I mean, sacrifice, no?
- Do you even know that you are supposed to take time out and decide what kind of pre-wedding photos you want? Or your mind didn’t go there? See you now, your own is to shout “God when?” here and there. What colours do you want to wear? Casual? Formal? Will the pictures be outdoor pictures? 90s fashion? Earth tone? Mystic? Whaatttt? Or your plan is to wear “his” and “hers” on white top and jeans? (sorry to the “his” and “hers” people o, na joke).
- I’m already laughing because this one… Oya where is the man? Or is it the gal in your own case? You single pringle. Shiffftttttt.
- How much do you have sef? Where are you now going? I’ve not finished nowwww. Talk now, how much have you saved? Or it is owo corporative that you want to use? Lol. Shior. When they tell you now that decor is 200k, you will be pricing 15k.
- All your bad habits, will you drop them? Abi somebody’s son/daughter should come and die of problem because they married you? All your exes?smallies? all your excessive drinking? Did you even tell your partner that you sometimes enjoy pain during sex? Or they’ll find out three weeks after your wedding? I’m sure she doesn’t know that you smoke? She will soon start seeing it under the doormat or under the footmat in your car, when she goes out with it.
- Have you prayed? Abi it’s vibes and insha allah? Your children will come now and inherit the one that they don’t know.
- I hope you are ready to learn on the job. To not compare what you have/will be having to what other people have/will be having. To apologise often, even when you are right. To make sacrifices. To work hard at being better. To stay true and faithful to your vows (yes dear, yes). To open your heart to her family/his family. Are you ready for the discovery? because forever no be go come. Everyday, new sides will show.
I could go on and on, but I don’t want to now be sounding like one expert. Even I am single. So, please please please. But these are thoughts that cross my mind from time to time, especially the one of dancing o, because, omo, I no fit dance even if them point gun to my head.
Marriage takes a lot of work; most of it is based on how intentional you are. I mean, in life, you have to be intentional to make any type of progress. So is it with marriage too.
Please note that many of these points I have listed don’t have to apply to you because you can like to be a Dangote or one Igbo man’s son from Anambra, or one boss lady CEO. You might even be an atheist. All of that is fine. To each, his own. But, you have to understand that you can’t and should not compromise certain things, one of which is the set of values you want your marriage to have/uphold. These values are the same ones that your offsprings will pick up.
Everybody wants a better society, but does everybody know that it starts from (in) the formative years? Is everybody aware that it starts with how just you are, how forgiving, honest, how respectful of one another’s rights and privacy you are, how sensitive you are to each other’s feelings (and by extension, to that of those around you). Do you show up? To work? For friends? Or are you a thief, always looking for who to put down so that you can rise?
Fink about it.
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