Clueless? Here’s a better explanation.

Writing and me.
3 min readFeb 10


This love language matter is not easy, please😭🤦🏽‍♀️🙄🥹

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Just imagine a physical touch person who went and caught feelings for someone who doesn’t like physical touching.

Hugs and kisses and maybe even PDA are things you crave yet if you start, she will say you have started. “Ahn Ahn can’t you control yourself?” “Ima, stop grabbing me please, people are looking.” Wahala.

You that you like words of affirmation now ignorantly went and spent three years of your youth getting to know and develop chemistry for a man who just wants to buy you gifts.

There you all are, dying. Of what? Resentment. Who is that? The worst thing that can step foot in any relationship.

You rub his feet and take out his trash whenever you go to his house even if it’s just a drive through yet he’s never for once offered to fill your tank up when it’s empty.

Twice now -on Saturday and today- he called you and you told him you were at Conoil. Today’s own, you’ve been in the queue for six hours. Six! Yet all he wants to do is gist with you. Can he not see? Do people even take calls in the filling station? Mtchew.

Even me now that thanks to this talking stage, I’ve found out that spending quality time is this man’s dominant love language while receiving gifts is his secondary language, I’m afraid of how to proceed BECAUSE the kind of quality time I’m talking about is not sitting beside him and pressing my phone from morning till night. He likes us having conversations about music, past jobs, next moves and his neighbor who says “safe” instead of goodbye at the end of every call. BECAUSE my own dominant language is physical touch. I want to touch touch you when I like you.

If your mum likes quality time, give her small time. Enter her room, gist with her about her fabrics woman’s son that just janded or her fellow Christian mothers. If your father likes to hear you tell him he’s the best and you are so grateful for his sacrifice then by all means have at it.

Don’t be shy, Jide.

Alim, you can wake up one Saturday morning and drop the praises there and run away. “It’s not something we are used to in our house o” then start it. Initiate it. “My sisters will yab me die”. Insort never killed henywarn!

Your friend is coming over and she loves Amala tax office, get her one big bowl and watch her eyes light up. You like gifts and whenever your flatmate travels, he comes back with one shoe polish or one key holder or even a bar of snickers.

“Guy I see this thing for airport”, “guy you like this Heineken ash-tray? Them share am for Paula birthday party.”

Ife a na-e moovu. Things will be moving. Won’t you like it?

I don fuck up many relationships in the past on top this matter. But my people say that when you open your eye is your own morning.

Valentine’s is coming again this year and I want us to dig deeper. Not the RCCG weekly service o, dig deeper.

When last did you hear from your grandma and your cousin in the north? Nigeria is also happening to them, you know?

Say the words, but the inexpensive gifts (or the expensive ones), take some task off their plate, touch them and spend time with them. Observe and improve, observe, infuse, improve. Blossom!

Finally, has anyone asked you to be their Val or should I mind my business this hot afternoon? 💀🤭

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XO!! ✌️