Being vulnerable means, you are present, honest and open. Let’s start from there.
If vulnerability is these three things, then, it makes sense that if you are aloof, dishonest and for whatever reason unable to share yourself, then you haven't been vulnerable. Vulnerability is to your walk with God what Nursery 1 is to your educational journey.
I need you to be aflame in private.
God enjoys knowing that you are present in your walk with him. He loves when you demonstrate that you are available to be buried deeply. Your honesty has to be honest and earnest. Your confessions have to be honest, your fears too. Consistently. Vulnerability with God and consistency cannot be separated. Moses was open- he told God about his weakness and how he presumed that stammering would hinder him. Paul was vulnerable when he accepted that he had something piercing his side constantly. Daniel was vulnerable, even Jesus was vulnerable. He told God when he was tired and he expressed honestly how much he was hoping that the cup could pass him by. God wants you living in community with him, not just in communion with him. He wants you dependent on him for survival too, like you would be on a community. He wants you thinking about how you can contribute to his own interests. He wants you open and honest and present so that he can talk to you. If Abraham wasn’t close to God in the sense of being present in his walk, God might not have bothered to tell him when he wanted to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. Get close to God so he can get close to you and share his secrets with you. You want outward public fire? Focus on inward private fire. Your audience is an audience of one. That’s your business. You have no business with external validation. Focus on you and God and grow with God.
You hack this first and watch to see how easily it translates to your human relationships. The things you learn on your walk with God: learning how to love and respect yourself, knowing your worth, cleansing your environment of sin and sinful triggers, building confidence in the fact that as long as God lives in you, you have no business “doing for the crowd”, then you can hack the art of successfully walking with humans in all these capacities.
You are different, you are sacred, special, uncommon. Get in touch with this fact and go with it. You are not supposed to fit in. Jesus was rejected, you will be rejected. I challenge you to be more deeply buried in this walk with God. What will you be doing BECAUSE you are a Christian and what will you not be doing BECAUSE you are a Christian. Invest your time, routine, learning and mind to your walk with God and come back here with your testimonies. You are welcome to enjoy the peace that comes with performing for an audience of one. The spotlight is on you, but you feel no pressure. Take your time to ease into this exchange. Be yourself and be at rest.
Look out for all the little ways and conversations and things that you can engage in that can further bury you into God and his call for you. As long as you don’t want to be left stranded on the last day, it’s time you took this walk with God more seriously.
Look around you, God is all you’ve got.