Oh no. It happened again.

Writing and me.
6 min readJun 26, 2022

I really hoped the vigil and laying of hands would work once and for all, considering that I was brought to the centre of the gathering and hands were placed on my head with shrieks of “loose” and “come out” and “release her”. This one brother was bent on making me fall sha. He didn’t mind that I was AT LEAST two feet taller than him. He’d rush to me from time to time and start turning me in circles, very invested in “setting me free”. I didn’t mind, either. Nor did I mind that all that close contact exposed me to so many saliva droplets. I didn’t even mind that my neck started aching intensely before the second minister was through with me. “Shebi this thing will not follow me home tonight? Anything.”

1800homecare.com

I’ve wet the bed again. Clearly, nothing has changed. The only thing that’s new is that the elders in church now know about me and I bet their kids would have heard by now too.

I know what my mum will say when I call her. That shebi when she told me to prepare myself in body and spirit for the vigil, I didn’t take her seriously. Now, I didn’t receive my anointing. Or, like that group of seeds in the parable of the sower, I too received the anointing but I wasn’t fertile enough for the anointing to be planted deep enough to bear fruits. She will probably also suggest that I fast from using my phone ahead of the next vigil- as extra sacrifice.

I am a 24 year old girl and I haven’t stopped wetting the bed. Nocturnal enuresis, that’s what it’s called.

“Nwagboghobia ha ka gi, I jie n’abali, g’ehe mmamiri na bed. Tufiakwa!” (Igbo for “Grown up girl like you, you’ll lie down at night and dump urine on the bed. God forbid).”

So says my mum.

Except God isn’t forbidding it at all, after all my begging and praying.

When I gained admission, I dreaded my first night with my roommates. “So new people will discover this my horrible secret? How will I manage for God’s sake.”

But I’d become an expert at waking up right after peeing- never before o, always right after. I’d jump up out of my sleep, confirm that it had happened again, then proceed to change the bedsheet.

Here was the order

Change sheets, sorry, change nightie

Change sheets

Flip the bed or try to dry it to some degree first, then flip it

Lay on it like a beggar with no choice.

Try to plot how I’d move the mattress to dry in the sun at daybreak

CRAZY.

I dare not fall asleep in someone else’s room and I dare not sleepover at a guy’s. Who cares if I like him? My feelings be damned.

My self esteem is shit at this point. I can be in the middle of doing a dance at a house party and remember that I don’t belong there because which one of them there is still wetting the bed? I could even be doing my make up, getting ready for a date and the anxiety would grip me.

Fine girl wey dey piss for bed.

Whenever we go to our grandparents’ and the younger kids wet the bed and I wet the bed too, I want to die.

Grandmama wey dey piss for bed.

You know, people will tell you different things.

Once, our neighbor stylishly brought it up with my mum- I don’t need to tell you that the whole compound hears her everyday when she’s scolding me 🙄- and suggested that I join her and her family when they eat the special bread which their pastor consecrates every Wednesday…

Mind you, her second son used to be my crush when we were in secondary school. Again, I guess I don’t need to tell you how that went.

I don’t need to tell you that the whole compound hears her everyday when she’s scolding me 🙄. The cycle is her sympathizing with me, praying with and for me, rubbing minds with me, my dad, my younger brothers and sisters to come up with solutions that will work better and last more than the last one. Then before the week ends, she’ll lose her patience and switch to scolding me. And back to sympathizing with me.

My grandfather calls me a weakling.

My relatives who used to live with us back in the day were convinced I had a spiritual husband who didn’t want me to be attractive. “He wants you all for himself”, they’d say.

My aunt who’s a nurse suggested that I stop drinking water from 5 pm upwards. To be fair, this worked for a bit, till it didn’t.

Personally, I did some research…

This thing means that a person urinates involuntarily while asleep after the age at which staying dry at night can be reasonably expected. So, if you are bedwetting at age seven or eight, many health professionals and counsellors will tell you there’s no reason to be concerned. They’d say it’s a normal part of your development and that you will outgrow it. Because you should. Who expects anyone to pee up to age 25?

I found out that nobody really knows what causes it but that some factors play a role. Factors like

  • having a small bladder (in which case the person won’t be able to hold the urine they produce at night).
  • being unable to recognize a full bladder (because the nerves that control the bladder are slow to mature. Therefore, a full bladder may not wake such a person, especially if he/she is a deep sleeper).
  • the inability to produce enough anti-diuretic hormone (ADH) to slow nighttime urine production.
  • a urinary tract infection (in which case it is difficult to control urination). other symptoms of this include colored urine and painful urination.
  • ADHD (a child with ADHD has higher chances of bedwetting than a child without).
  • onset of diabetes (if a child who used to be dry at night suddenly begins to bed-wet, diabetes might be in the neighborhood).
  • stress and anxiety (usually brought on by big changes in the routine. So, for example, a child who is sleeping away from home for the first time might bed-wet. a child who’s recently resumed at a new school and is finding it hard to settle in, might bed-wet).
  • family history (if one or both of a child’s parents wet the bed as children, their child has a significant chance of wetting the bed, as well).

It is important to treat the problem with patience and understanding because the guilt and embarrassment associated with this condition can damage a person’s self-esteem. I mean it’s bad enough that they miss out on social activities like sleepovers and camp trips and all that.

Lifestyle changes, bladder training, moisture alarms and sometimes medication may help reduce bed-wetting.

If you are in your teens and you are still bedwetting, please see your doctor. Also, try not to despair so much because the more you worry, the higher your chances of bedwetting. Every night.

Maybe I should have seen a doctor earlier. I definitely should have. I think what stopped me was that I kept hoping and believing that it would stop. Probably a way of exercising my faith.

I’ve gone back to sleeping early and setting multiple reminders and it’s been good for like a week now.

I’ll let you know how it goes 🤞🏼🤞🏼

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